8. To join the Mile High Club

Posted by: gracefulease on: February 13, 2011

• In: Reasons
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Many would argue that joining the Mile High Club isn’t so much a reason for having sex at 30,000 feet but a consequence of your thrill-seeking attempt to risk public exposure and have sex in what I would call a “morally grey” area.  But those many would be wrong; joining the Mile High Club is exponentially more important and more rewarding than the adrenaline hit from performing the nasty mere feet from uncomfortable sleepless strangers who, despite a great understanding of the mechanics keeping the plane aloft still fear for their lives.

For starters the boast of the Mile High Club is nearly unequivocally the best sexual boast in the book, trumped only by the Tetris Block Threesome.  It can be used in later life experiences to increase your chances with women in a number of varying situations, and for clarification here’s one example from my own experience.

Attend a house party with your mate, and explain to him pre-party that a game of “I Never” will occur, in which he must say “I have never joined the Mile High Club.”  Everyone will guffaw at the ridiculousness of this statement, with some smart ass declaring “As if anyone in this room has done that!”  You must wait for this idiot to make his defamation of your friend before you slowly and deliberately take a long draw from your drink.  Preferably one of those fancy vodkas on ice they always serve on planes to hammer the point home.  At this point you have already won the game of “I Never”, (even if later in the game to awful, awful misdeeds) and will have your pick of the ladies (or at least have one lady slightly more interested in you).

Secondly the Mile High Club is an extremely prestigious club (and when you join us please contact me for details on our clubhouse location and entry codes).  It is so prestigious that it will brighten up even the most impressive of CV’s (it’s on mine!) or win over the hardest of interviewers.  It’ll also impress the in-laws, unless they happen to be Amish.  In their case, claim that the offending vehicle was instead a horse-drawn cart.

And best of all, there’s no down-sides!  It’s not even illegal, only ‘advised against’ and I suspect that is because the limited space will limit your awesome love-making abilities leaving your better half feeling slightly underwhelmed.  But who cares?  You’re now in the most elite and awesome club in the world.