10. Natural Competition

Posted by: gracefulease on: February 15, 2011

• In: Reasons
• 2 Comments

In every friendship group there are Alphas and Omegas, whose status is determined by a number of factors, but most importantly; how many times they’ve got laid.  While there is an upper limit which when breached normally places a former Alpha back down into the Omegas (do you really want to be led by a super-slut?), being marginally ahead of the back is normally the safest bet to ensure Alpha-dom.

This also happens within individual friendships, between just two or three people, however due to the less-than-subtle banter highlighting exact numbers the pressure is often much higher to increase your own number, and the updates on recent achievements become more regular.

Although, a mere total of lays seems an unfair way to calculate social dominance, and a system has been established world-wide between teenagers to reflect this, and is widely accepted as the best method of analysing each others successes.  The simpler system works by adding a point for each base you reach with a new individual, in such a way that you can only get 4 points from each partner.  The more complex version works as follows.

		Multipliers			Bonus
Action	Points	Taken	Engaged	Hen-Night	Virgin
Pulling	1	2.0	2.0	2.0	+0
Hands-involved	2	2.0	3.0	3.0	+2
Felatio	3	2.0	3.0	4.0	+4
Sex	4	2.5	3.0	4.0	+5
Anal	4	3.0	3.0	3.0	+10

Each level is cumulative, and can only be scored once with any specific individual. So if you pull, have your downstairs touched up, and give felatio to a single ‘single’ person, that’s 6 points. If they happen to be on a Hen-night, and have never given or recieved felatio, that’d be 2 + 6 + 12 + 4 = 24 points! For reference, 100 points is a standard aim for a week-long holiday.

The multipliers depend on the person-you’re-performing-the-action-with’s current relationships status, not yours. Also, in all cases they mean “to someone else”, no extra points for kissing your own girlfriend. The bonus is added if they are a virgin at that specific action, not in general, and is added after the multipliers. Now I personally do not approve of getting with someone else’s partner at all, but this is just how the system works, and I hope you’ll all keep in mind “The Bro Code” and never do any of this with another Bro’s partner, or mother (unless she’s a step-mom and is wearing more than one item of leopard print clothing).

So I hope with this useful system in place you can finally separate the men from the boys, the women from the girls, and the slags from the free-loving, and establish an accurate and reliable Natural Competition.